Fit to be Fried

July 25, 2008

I must be fucking psychic…

In my post two days past, "Dead will rise…" , I predicted that “Undertaker” Mark Callaway would be returning to the WWE in time for SummerSlam, next month’s pay-per-view event. Tonight at the end of Smackdown, Edge met up with GM Vicki Guerrrero in the ring to apologize for cheating on her, spearing her at the Great American Bash, and teling the whole world about her granny-panties. Or, to make a long story short (too late!), for being a complete douchebag. Guerrero decided to stand by her man, but made it clear that she was still angry with the “Rated R Superstar”, and that, to retaliate against him for his various crimes, she would be re-instating none other than the Dead Man, and that he would be her hubby’s opponent at SummerSlam.

I fucking told you so.

July 24, 2008

Dead will rise…


There’s been much speculation in wrestling fandom as to whether or not we’d ever see Mark Callaway, aka the Undertaker, step into the ring to wrestle again, and why he left to begin with. His dubious loss to Edge a couple of months ago in a “Loser Leaves” match definitely left a lot of us scratching our heads, to be sure. In a previous post, ("Undertaker ends 24 year career in loss to… Edge????!!!") I railed about the match, and how it didn’t seem right that such a legendary WWE Superstar would go out like that. It stuck in my craw so badly that I decided to do a little research and craft this follow-up to my obituary on the Undertaker’s career. It seems now that obit may have been premature (I know, I know, and given the Callaway’s in-ring persona, this should surprise absolutely no one.

To be honest, I was pretty much disgusted by the current state of the WWE, not because it had been rocked by scandal and tragedy1, but it had just become boring to me. I tend to go through phases like that with all my interests, so I knew eventually I’d be back. This being the case, I really didn’t put much effort into uncovering ‘Taker’s reasons for leaving until recently. It was while listening to the Mancow radio show on AM 950 that I first heard of the sex scandal involving ECW writer David Lagana. It was revealed in Matthew Randazzo’s book Ring of Hell, that Lagana had repeatedly approached wrestlers with an offer to help their careers if he were allowed to perform oral sex on them. This alone, although thoroughly gross, wouldn’t have been enough to pique my attention, as sex scandals in the WWE are nothing new. What caught my ear was how the situation was resolved; after having been harassed by Lagana, ECW wrestler Kevin Fertig (aka Kevin Thorn) went to the Undertaker, who in turn blew the whistle on Lagana. Of all the wrestlers involved in this story, it seems the Undertaker alone had the clout to get something done about Lagana, as Lagana was let go from the WWE, and replaced by Dusty Rhodes.

I thought for a while that this might’ve been part of the reason why Callaway left the WWE to concentrate on his real estate ventures in Colorado, but I’ve also heard that he was originally scheduled to return to the ring as a draftee to RAW in last month’s interbrand draft special, as a trade for Umaga to Smackdown. Of course, the Draft has come and gone, and Callaway was nowhere to be seen. Word is now that he will return at Summerslam. All of this, including my own guesses regarding David Lagana, are purely speculative,

My Gravatarsemperfried76 is the last hope for humanity.
Too bad he hates you all.

and his absence seems more likely to be the result of a recent major shoulder surgery he underwent, and his subsequent recuperation leave. Odds are he will be at Summerslam, if not, he will return probably no later than September. Rest assured, though things are dark right now, it’s doubtful we’ve seen the last of the Dead Man.

    Footnotes
  1. Steroid related deaths such as Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit’s bizarre murder-suicide certainly come to mind

June 3, 2008

Undertaker ends 24 year career in loss to… Edge????!!!

Filed under: Entertainment, Wrestling — Tags: , , , — semperfried76 @ 1:58 am

Holy hell, is this one for the books.

As anyone who read my previous post "How the WWE turned me off to all three candidates" knows, I haven’t been able to enjoy one of my favorite pastimes lately, namely, Monday Night Raw.

Tonight it just got a lot worse.

Never mind that in the past two years we not only lost Eddie Guerrero, one of the true greats of the sports entertainment world, to terminal heart failure, but also suffered the disgrace of Chris Benoit’s murder-suicide of his wife and kid (The Canadian Crippler had been one of my favorites, and just thinking about how he ended things really turns my stomach). I was OK with Ric Flair’s retirement- to tell the truth, he was well past his prime, and hadn’t had a decent, believable match in almost a decade. But the Undertaker?

(more…)

Powered by WordPress